Satire – Le Dragon Déchaîné

Talented, young minds from all over the world come to Sciences Po to receive a state-of-the-art education from one of the leading institutions for politicians in Europe, with the hopes of making a better future. Sciences Po Le Havre is known for many things–its prime location in the heart of France, its sprawling campus, and its Intro to Political Institutions teachers wit facial hair. However, we wanted to hear directly from our students about what made them choose Le Havre as the place to spend their two wonderful college years. Here are some of their responses:

“It’s the wifi. It’s 100% the wifi. I love coming to the library and taking advantage of the high-speed network that allows me to admire every artifact from Sophie’s Silk Road lecture. I am so happy to be paying 14,000 euros every year to finish all my work at school, go home at 3 pm, and sleep at 9 pm.” – Timothy Chalamet

“It’s so mother. The wifi is so mother.” – Angelina Lu

“The wifi is the greatest example of cutting-edge technology that I have ever seen. Coming from the heart of Silicon Valley, I can wholeheartedly endorse Sciences Po wifi.” – Kneel Lu.

Even French natives from all over the country flock to Le Havre to take advantage of the wifi network. Marcus Aurelius, from the faraway land of Rouen, details his experience using Sciences Po’s wifi for the first time.

“It was an absolute game-changer for me. I could browse berets and yellow jackets during my fantastically long lunch break like never before. I love spending my time on weekends working in the common room, sipping the cappuccino from the always-working coffee machine. I love the coffee machine almost as much as I love the wifi.”

Our students can attest to the wonderful wifi network we have here at Sciences Po Le Havre. You can see students enjoy the high-speed connection from all across campus, including classrooms, both floors of the library, and especially the Grand Amphi, where the wifi speed can go up to 5G!

We called upon Sciences Po’s most beloved alumni, President Emmanuel Macron, to ascertain why our wifi is so extraordinary.

“I have fond memories of this campus,” Macron says as he reminisces about his college days in Le Havre. “To give back to my second home, my government and I have decided on donating 5 million euros to create the next generation of connectivity on this campus. By 2025, we plan on establishing a 6G network, which will allow for easier communication with Sciences Po’s new campus on the Moon. Ici c’est, La Lune!”

However, some complain that the wifi is too fast. Almost as fast as France going through its 15 Constitutions. But that is what makes our wifi truly French, and as reliable as the nurses on campus.

Noelani AUNG and Asher Seet, 1AS, decided to share their experience of their first days on campus with irony when it came to campus wifi.