Passing Finals 101: Sciences Po Edition

It’s that time of the year again! We know we’re all excited for Christmas trees, decorative ornaments, elaborate lighting—all in preparation for our favorite season, finals! Sciences Po students in Le Havre all excitedly walk to school, clutching their laptops and previous midterm papers in hopes of getting the best holiday gift yet: a beautiful double-digit 10/20 score on their final papers. As the weather improves this holly jolly season, we at LDD have prepared an acronym – GO RATS – to help all students memorize these essential studying tips.

G: Get Help. Academics are hard. If you’re struggling, remember that you have many resources available to help you succeed. Your local friendly drunkards at the Gare du Havre provide an interesting example of sociological phenomena taking place in the real world that you can add to your dissertation.
O: Open Your Mind. It is important to think about your future after your exams, in case you flunk out of school. There are a myriad of possibilities. You can be an Uber Driver, a garbage collector, or even an SNCF employee who argues with you, gaslights you, and delays all the trains. The opportunities are endless!
R: Reward Yourself. Studying will feel less like a chore if you set up a healthy reward system. For each one of Gretchen’s slides you read, take a shot of vodka. It will enhance your concentration and passive recall. Even better idea: the morning of your foreign language final, make sure to be a little tipsy – it will definitely improve your speaking performance.
A: Acceptance. Accept your strengths. Accept your weaknesses. Accept defeat.
T: Take Breaks. Studying can be stressful! Taking breaks is essential for your sanity and mental health. For every hour of studying, reward yourself with one episode of the critically acclaimed Emily in Paris, so that even when you’re not studying you’re still enriching yourself with true French culture. Or, if you’re feeling a bit adventurous, book a flight to the United States of America during Revision Week – it’s short, inexpensive, and provides a good ambiance for studying.
S: Sleep. Everyone knows that sleep affects your performance. After all, you can’t beat the adrenaline rush of pulling an all-nighter. Make sure to minimize the amount of sleep you get, so that when you walk into the exam hall, the stress from the night before will carry you to victory!

We hope that you will take “GO RATS!” into account when studying. And as a bonus holiday gift for you, here’s a bonus tip: don’t procrastinate. Or else, Hauchecorne will send out another email. Enjoy the winter season!

Monthly satirical article by Asher Seet and Noelani Aung